START RANT!
I’m writing this because this weekend at the tournament I went to there was a dreaded Douche. Sadly he came with the 10 of us from Peterborough. We all knew from playing with him at the shop that he was not the best guy in the world but we had hopes that he would be able to contain himself long enough to not make himself look like an ass. Sadly we were wrong. I bet right now you are saying to yourself “I bet it’s not that bad”. If you are thinking that THEN YOU’RE WRONG! Here is a list of a few things that this nameless person did during the Tournament. (Lets use this as a what NOT to do) For the sake of protecting names we will call him Mr.Douche.
The first game was going well and we all had hopes. They won the game and there was nothing that was reported to any of us. We have to assume that he was lubing up for the dreaded Douche insertion.
Second game came along and they found themselves losing. So Mr.Douche would not hear of it. He would contest every dice roll. He would have the dreaded Douche look on his face every time the other team took out there tape measure. He would remind you to take your saves and to allocate about five times before you had a chance to roll a dice. There is a lot more but just use your imagination and just think of everything you would not want to happen to you. Got it in your head? Now imagine all of it happening all at the same time from Mr.Douche. He annoyed the team that he played against so much that they quit the game. That’s right… They were beating Mr.Douche’s team and they said screw it. They had no desire to finish the game. They would rather quit and walk away. I’m sure they did this because they would have punched him in his face if they did not. Picture a 17 year old young man screaming at you at the top of his lungs. I think you might want to quit too.
So Mr.Douche is happy with his win in the second round. By now maybe he is thinking “Hey I can win this if I annoyed the last guy to” BUT NO! He wouldn’t do it again would he? He wouldn’t freak out so much that someone would punch him would he? It looked like it was going to go that way to be honest. Mr.Douche’s team was on the wire again and he went for the “I win button” They were not falling for the tricks of the super Douche though. It got pretty intense though. I thought that he was going to get punched… Mr.Douche was yelling and screaming so much he was sweating. He had beats of sweat dripping down from his face. Can you imagine someone freaking out so much that they would be sweating in the middle of winter in a poorly heated room? It happened… I was there and seen it with my own two eyes.
So what’s the result of acting like this you might ask. There are a lot of things that COULD happen when people act this way. Keep the following things that DID happen in mind if you ever find yourself being a Douche, but I know that people that read my Blog are not Douche’s (Yes I’m sucking up to you).
1. Because of Mr.Douches actions he is no longer welcome to attend any Tournament being held in Parry Sound.
2. Mr.Douche does not have a car. No one in Peterborough wants to drive him to Tournaments anymore.
3. Everyone at the club was very upset about the actions of Mr.Douche. There is talk of not allowing him to come anymore. We can’t just say you can no longer come to the shop anymore though. We are not the owners obviously that’s for him to decided. What can we do though? No one at the shop is going to play him again.
4. We thought about talking to Mr.Douche and trying to help him change but I don’t know how many people want to try. This is not the first time that he freaked out and made an ass out of himself. The sad part is that Mr.Douche is not a bad player. He knows the game pretty well. It goes to show you that it does not matter how good you are if you are a dick no one will want to play you, and like Mr.Douche found out you will be stuck in the corner playing with yourself.
END RANT!
So please follow this simple rule. DON’T BE A DOUCHE! Think about the person that is standing across from you. They are there to have fun too. They want to play the game and have a good time just like you.
Round 3
This mission was from round 1 Ard Boyz. It was spear head with two objectives placed in the corners that no team started in. This was for all the marbles. Both teams had way more points then anyone else there. They were only split by a single point. Winner would be in 1st place and the loser would be in 3rd place. It was an intense battle from the get go. Both teams were from Peterborough and we knew each other very well. Jon and I knew that we had the intimidation factor on our side because of how intense they were from the very start. Jon and I have a rep around the shop because I'm a person that loves tournaments and works hard to be prepared for any army that I may play against and Jon is a math wiz with crazy tactics. We knew before the game that they tailored there list to try to beat ours because we were going to be the team they would be playing in the finals if they made it that far. There list was brutal. By turn 3 it turned into “ lets just not give them the massacre ”.
Eldar & Space Marines
Farseer W/ Fortune, Doom, RoWa, Spirit Stones, Jetbike
9 Warlocks on bikes W/ 3 destructors, 1 enhance, and 2 embolden
6 jetbikes W/ 2 cannons
6 jetbikes W/ 2 cannons
5 shining spears W/ skilled rider
SM Captain on bike with Lightning claws
Command squad W/ Company Champion, melta gun and a Rhino
5 man SM Bike Squad W/ Power fist, meltagun and Multi-Melta Attack Bike
5 man SM Bike Squad W/ Power fist, meltagun and Multi-Melta Attack Bike
6 man scout squad W/ CC weapons, 1 Power Weapon and a Combi Melta
3 Multi-melta Attack Bikes
Venerable Dreadnought in a drop pod W/ heavy flamer
There was no doubt in our mind that this army was going to be on us very fast. Our only hope was to get first turn and try to do as much damage as we could before they all turbo boosted and slammed into us turn 2. The die roll was not in our favor from the start when they took turn 1. We knew that this was going to take some very good tactics on our part to stand any chance of winning. Could we do it though? It seemed like we might not have a chance in hell of winning after they deployed. We knew that there was only a 24 inch game from there deployment zone to ours so there turbo boost would bring them close enough to get the turn 2 assault. After a smart plan we made the choice to huddle in the corner and make lines that they would have to slam into in order to win. We just hoped that we would be able to kill off enough before they got to the back. We left two of our Devilfish in reserve. The hope was to draw them into the corner long enough that they would not be able to get back to the objective and we might have a chance of holding the one in the far end of our side.
There turn 1: After some mind tricks in our deployment we managed to trick them into putting there dreadnought close enough to our inquisitor that we would get a shot off. The Eldar player warned him not to but the thought of flaming our pathfinders to death seemed to be to tempting for him to pass up. We managed to get a shot off on him and blew off his flamer and stunned him for the turn with the Vendetta. There entire army turbo boosted up as far as they could. Lucky for us the inquisitor shut down Fortune on the seers so they held them back a little more then they might have.
Our turn 1: We moved a few units up to give them something to attack on there turn and hopefully slow them down. The medusa's fire into the shining spears that were in the front of the pack but only managed to kill one of them and two bikes. Jon's broadside finished off the dreadnought and we got one of the bike squads down to only 3 members. Jons Tau commader used his air burst on the scouts and managed to kill a few but It was a lot less then hoped. We knew that if we were to stand a chance in this fight we had to have a better turn one then we did.
There turn 2: There shining spears slammed into the devilfish that we left out for them to eat up. They only managed to stun it and immobilize it though so we knew that we had a chance. A squad of the SM bikes charged the medusa's killing one of them and making the other unable to shoot for a turn. The 3 jetbike eldar that we left alive charged a devilfish and stunned it. His attack bike squad killed the valkyrie and the rest of his army got close enough that they would be in close combat the next turn. His seers were only about 9 inches away from most of our units at this point so they would be a problem next turn.
Our turn 2: We knew that this was time we had to bring the pain. I brought up my command squad and the melta vets and managed to almost wipe out the bike squad that charged the meduas's All that was left behind was a normal guy and a power fist. This was still scary because it was in range to charge anything in our army that it wanted. We finished off the rest of the jetbike squad and manged to wipe out the other jetbike squad also. Things were looking up for us in the battle but we knew on there turn loses would be huge for us.
There turn 3: The inquisitor was still pulling his wait because he was able to shut down fortune again for us but it was starting to look ugly with how close everything was. His seer council did a triple assault against two of our devilfish and a squad of 6 fire warriors. They blew up both of the tanks but were unable to kill the fire warriors. They held on for another round. Jon and I were a little upset about this because we would not be able to shoot at them but this ended up being the best thing that ever happened to us. The two last marines in the bike squad charged a broadside squad killing them but losing the normal bike leaving the fist all alone. The shining spears charged the pathfinders wiping them out and making a chimera unable to move or shoot for another turn. They managed to destroy the other medusas because they knew the damage it could cause. They attempted to kill the command squads Chimera with there full bike squad but were unable to do any damage. They also made it so the Vendetta would not be shooting on our next turn with there attack bike squad. We did not have a lot on the board and we knew things were looking ugly for or team.
Our turn 3: At this point our main goal was to not give up the massacre if we could. We had no dreams of winning but Jon and I are both stubborn bastards that never give up hope. Our two devilfish came in and one of them stayed back at the objective that no one was close to. Our plan worked. We would be able to contest this objective if the seer council was unable to kill the devilfish in a turn. We knew that time was running out for the round and we only had one turn left then the unthinkable happened. The fire warriors held another round against the Seer council. We couldn't believe our eyes We managed to hold. THE OBJECTIVE WAS OURS NOW! They would be unable to contest it. A glimmer of hope came out of no were. Could we pull this off? Was it possible? We only had a hand full of kill points on them so we would not be able to get the massacre but if we could some how contest that other objective we would pull off a major win. If we could not then we would only give up a major loss so we knew that win or lose it was not a complete slaughter. I went flat out with my vendetta towards there objective with a squad of flamer vets inside. There goal was simple try to get with in 3 inches of that objective. We managed to finish off the biker with the fist but they still had an attack bike and a normal biker left after all of our shooting. We pumped all our shots into them trying to kill them but sadly could not. Our tau commander charged the Shining spears that were close enough to the vendetta to charge it on there turn if we could not tie them up. Lucky for us the tau commander did not die. We had hope.
There turn 4 (final turn): They turbo boosted there 2 remaining SM bikes close to there objective and parked the Rhino on top of it. They go out with there command squad and tried to make a wall. They put there scouts in the Rhino for added protection. We had a few ideas in our head but it was not going to be ez to get to that objective in one turn. They brought there attack bikes up to shoot down the vendetta. They also brought the Sm captain to try to finish it off if the bikes failed. They shot the multi-melta's at the Vendetta.. Cover saves made (thank god). They charged it and blew it up in the assault phase. We had one less option for getting to that objective but there was still hop. We noticed a whole in there wall big enough to fit a base through. With the right run we might be able to make it through.
Our turn 4 (final turn): The command squads Chimera moved up 12 inches and exposed rear Armour and the command squad got out. We had a glimmer of hope. We were only 8 inches away from the objective. If we could get a run of 5 we had it. We would have the Major win. We were only 50% sure a base would fit in the whole that we had though. We were not sure if we could fit one in there. It was going to be close as hell. The vet's that were in the blown up Vendetta got out and went into DT to try to get a charge on the Rhino. If they could get a 6 on the DT and a 6 on the charge we would be with in 3 inches of the objective. It was not going to be easy but we had hope. We shot everything we had with hopes of making the hole a little bigger for the guard to get into but with what we had left there was just not enough guns to get the job done. The wall of SM was still pretty intact and it was iffy if we could fit the model through the gap. The vets did it. They got a 6 on there DT. Now it was the moment of truth. Could we make it. The command squad ran and managed to get a 5. The tape measures cam out by all four of us trying to see if we could fit a model into the gap. I told everyone to make sure no models were touched or I would claim cheating because of how close it was. I told them to make sure they are careful because the game would be deiced with this simple measuring. If they could fit we had a major win... If they could not we had a minor lose. After about 4-5 minutes of debate and measuring trying to see if they could fit I simply said okay ill roll my charge against the Rhino and we wont have to worry if they fit or not... THERE IT WAS A 6. WE HAD THE GAME... If you was wondering the models did fit in the game. We looked for the hell of it.
We got 18 points for this round.
We were awarded 1st place and the other team managed to sneak into 3rd place. It was a great tournament that I will remember for a very long time. The last game of the tournament was an amazing game that we had to work very hard in to pull off the win. It goes to show people that you should never give up when you are playing because you truly don't know in an objective game what they outcome will be till the game is over. We went from trying not to give up a massacre to pulling off an amazing win in the closest game I have ever played. I would like to thank Tammy again for running a fun tournament that all of us enjoy going to every year. We will see you next year and win or lose I'm sure we will have a blast.
